Diatribe

One of my class' vocab words is "Diatribe," which is an angry, bitter attack. Let me demonstrate.

I am dismayed to find that I am still struggling for credibility with the parents of my students, especially when I have yet to actually meet them.

I asked my students to "be real" with me, so it follows that I should "be real" with them. So I shared a little of my life (which I usually save for later in the year) including the fact that I "recently" (3 years, yikes!) went to WWU and that I play in a band. I'm sure those are the only two details my students remember when mom asks how are your classes, mmm, yes, and your teachers, what are they like? Oh, they probably mention that I'm way young and that a bunch of kids thought I was a senior. So, in the parents mind I am some young idiot probably lamely attempting to be the "cool" teacher by being younger and playing in a band. Nevermind the fact that I graduated from college, got fantastic marks in my internship, immediately got a job in a competitive market, taught a successful two years, run the freshman orientation program, and so on. Nope, I just play in a band and try to look young, probably in an effort to score with their teenage daughters.

Son of a bitch.

I got an email from a parent today responding to a letter I asked him to write about his student. I did this with all the parents, and most are pleasantly surprised to see a teacher engaging them. Not this guy. He expressed his concern over the grammatical errors in the letter, especially considering I am an English teacher. To his credit, there were a few typos I should have caught. The part that chaps my ass is the part that follows:

I want ******* to respect you...not to like you and/or refer to you as a
"cool" teacher.
If he does refer you as "cool" or likable then I will then know that he
indeed does have respect for you...make sense?


Last but not least I will share with you something that is very
important to me.
You being a teacher is a privilege not a job and with that I have the
utmost respect for teachers that do it for the sheer love of the
profession and sense of giving back to the community.

I will support you 200% as long as you are truthful with your
instruction, guidance and mentorship as it pertains to *******.

I don't appreciate the implication that being "cool" is more important than student learning. It's my fucking job to teach all of my kids. Nowhere in my type-ridden letter does it even mention anything except my professional philosophy regarding education and character cultivation. I don't talk about where I went this summer or my dog or that I'm just oh so excited to have your child. No. This is what your kid will be doing. I'm going to make my instruction transparent so that you know what I'm doing and why. At no point should you assume that I will do anything less than that. And "truthful with your instruction?" Fuck off.

On a more objective level, maybe this guy's doing what I unintentionally did: trying to sound smart and coming off like a jackass. His heart's probably in the right place. But after reading the letter from the mom that starts, "It seems that teachers keep getting younger and younger!"I just don't have the patience for this righteous dribble.


...and that my friends is a diatribe.